Modern Art Gifts

"We encourage Theo to challenge clichés and mediocrity."

"I'd say my biggest influence is probably Pollock."

Modern art: I call it Procrastination.

"This is the show, Madam."

"Now this I get."

"Wentworth, could I take another look at that reorganization plan?"

"By 'genius' do they mean the artist or the marketing department?"

The Last Temptation of Christo

'Look Larry, this one has air coming out of it!'

Sculpting

'It's a painting. There is no sound.'

The Big Picture

Jackson Pollock as a child

'I still don't get it.'

"Please hold still!"

"My grant ran out"

Businessman looks at abstract painting, saying: 'I won't be investing in this one -I've just met the artist and he's in perfectly good health.'

Jackson Pollock makes a mistake: 'Guess I'll have to start over.'

'... And this is Picasso's: The bad plastic surgeon. '

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

'Sure she's got a nice smile, but is it art?'

The Big Picture

'I should know who he is! His work is in every gallery I go into.'

"Whatever the heck it is, it was built exactly to specifications."

'I have to disagree. I think the artist is laughing with us.'

Art Exhibition - 'And be sure to see my website at dot-dot-dot-dot-com.'

Art Forms.

Euro on the exhibition.

Man blowing paint at a canvas through a French horn.

'You could do that.' I did

Jackson Pollock's Birthday.

"I'm sorry, Steve, I was only dating you for the kitsch value."

A man in an art gallery stands in front of a blank canvas that has a suggestion box below it.

'At first glance, my work may seem heavily ironic, but, culturally adjusted, it's really pretty sincere!'

'Call the police. Some vandal has wrecked the Tracy Emin installation!'