Modern Artist Gifts

Man blowing paint at a canvas through a French horn.

Pablo Picasso before his morning cup of coffee.

Performance Artist - Gone to put you off your lunch.

Abstract Art

'Oh Brad - isn't it wonderful that people are still paying fortunes for this sort of junk?'

'..the sound of no hands clapping...'

The turner committee hated my entry..but the envelope made the shortlist.

Colour palette for the black rectangle.

'I like it.'

Banksy

Artist 'paints' on canvas by throwing custard pies.

'Yes, I understand it's art, but it's not going to feed the family...'

Abstract Paintings.

"Modern art?"

Artist Painting Modern Art.

'He's a pioneer in self-vandalism.'

"First it was a real one. Then artificial. Now it's completely conceptual."

"It's very minimalistic isn't it?"

"I'm ahead of my time."

"I call it, 'No admittance!'"

A fat cat sweeps up

"Cool! A work of art by Christo!"

Gallery of Modern Art: Thank You For Not Smirking

"Tee hee. . . Turner Prize here I come. . .!"

"Jackson, will you please stop doodling when you're on the phone?"

'Sorry, but I think your Mondrian tattoo was a mistake.'

Gianni Tatti's Dining-Room Chair

"I don't know art, but I know what I like."

"Miss Crutchfield, have you gone mad?"

Boy copying abstract artwork in an art gallery.

Landscape Artists

Workmen cover up a modern art sculpture with a giant fig leaf.

Turner Prize winner: 'A Waste of Space'

"Darnit. Ruined another one."

"You have it upside down."