Modern Soothsayer Gifts

"Stay with me. I just want to cross-check your fortune with a quick Google search."

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

Pie Filling Reader

"Lighten up! Your charts aren't that bad."

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"

"The fact that you're here means you will continue to make poor life decisions."

'I got one of those new crystal ball smart watches.'

Before becoming the legend that he is today, Nostradamus first enjoyed a pretty good living at the tracks.

Protesting man's sign reveals that his credit has run out.

End of world nigh!!!

I predict a huge fall followed by a lucrative job offer with a major cake baking company.

Information desk manned by a fortune teller.

'The recurring poor enrollment prognostications plays havoc with our school district's budget. What will next year's enrolment be.'

The Circle.

"Then it's settled -- our strategy is to hope for better things."

'I can see much grief, suffering and misfortune ahead - and you'll always be dogged by extremely bad luck - but, the good news is you're going to live to a very old age!'

European Stock Analyst

"@FBarnes12 favorited a prophecy you were mentioned in."

Fortune teller using a computer rather than traditional methods

Palm Top Readings

'According to your love line, I should be calling a cop right now!'

"Any kind of election is getting harder to call these days. . ."

"If I keep predicting a market crash, eventually I'll have to be right!"

Greece & EU

'I met my husband at one of these conventions. You could say it was love at second sight.'

"Today the Federal Reserve announced interest rates will stay the same, but hemlines will rise."

"It's for my back. You have two more questions."

"With Crystal Protect, we'll monitor your crystal ball to prevent the hack and theft of your clients' fortunes."

'In the future I see much spam and many people with a blog.'

'But will you still respect me in the morning?'

'I see your future ... it's gonna be a riot!'

It's just going to continue and continue.

2010 fortune teller.

"They're putting guard rails around the ledges. Looks like a good time to sell."