Soothsayer Gifts

It's just going to continue and continue.

Before becoming the legend that he is today, Nostradamus first enjoyed a pretty good living at the tracks.

'But will you still respect me in the morning?'

'I can see much grief, suffering and misfortune ahead - and you'll always be dogged by extremely bad luck - but, the good news is you're going to live to a very old age!'

I predict a huge fall followed by a lucrative job offer with a major cake baking company.

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"

The World Ends In 30 Days...21 Business Days

"OMG! Unbelievable! Oh dearie, dearie me. OMG!"

"Any kind of election is getting harder to call these days. . ."

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

'Are we there yet? Huh? Have we achieved Nirvana yet? Huh, have we?'

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

'God's forgiveness of sins ... is that like a spiritual bailout program?'

Pie Filling Reader

'I'll be back in three or four months - Hold that thought.'

Woman at a desk with in out boxes marked Market Up Market Down.

'Want to make it two out of three?'

"'Procreate'! I've climbed all this way to hear that the meaning of life is 'procreate'?!"

'You're in luck. Business ethics is a gray area.'

"Lighten up! Your charts aren't that bad."

“Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!?”

"I seek enlightenment - and a way to outsource our company's tech support."

The spirit in the wall would go on and ond, but Alvin never let it bother him.

"All the celebrities come here."

"Really? a frikkin' math question?"

"Behold the secret to happiness."

Book of Life, Answers in Back.

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

"If the headline screams catastrophe, but nobody cares to read it, does it still make a sound?"

'Oh, the guru is up on the next peak -- I'm his agent.'