Digital Soothsayer Gifts

'In the future I see much spam and many people with a blog.'

"@FBarnes12 favorited a prophecy you were mentioned in."

Palm Top Readings

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

Woman at a desk with in out boxes marked Market Up Market Down.

"..Your analysis and medication would be perfect if you were a goat."

'This app is linked to my financial advisor and provides stimulated hand-holding when the market is down.'

Kevin had a computer virus.

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"

"...and how often do you feel monkas?"

'I'm sorry, but it's suffering from a terminal disease.'

Before becoming the legend that he is today, Nostradamus first enjoyed a pretty good living at the tracks.

I predict a huge fall followed by a lucrative job offer with a major cake baking company.

End of world nigh!!!

Protesting man's sign reveals that his credit has run out.

"Siri, am I ready to take a look at the dessert menu?"

The Circle.

'Sure, you can communicate with him. He's also hooked up to the Internet.'

"Then it's settled -- our strategy is to hope for better things."

'Sometimes, when I'm feeling unappreciated, I'll fake a system-wide data crash.'

Fortune teller using a computer rather than traditional methods

"Any kind of election is getting harder to call these days. . ."

Bones Reunited

'I can see much grief, suffering and misfortune ahead - and you'll always be dogged by extremely bad luck - but, the good news is you're going to live to a very old age!'

"I do miss the crystal ball."

'According to your love line, I should be calling a cop right now!'

European Stock Analyst

'Your shares are doing well... No wait, they're falling, no they're rising, no falling and rising...'

Sad looking computer with plasters and a black eye

"I can tell much more about you if I read your Palm Pilot."

"I'm a doctor, I'm allowed to google it."

Don Z. And His User-Friendly Apartment

"If I keep predicting a market crash, eventually I'll have to be right!"

'Great news. There's a new, highly effective app for what you've got.'