Digital Healer Gifts

Bones Reunited

"I got a gold star for going the longest without looking at my phone in class."

Connected to Technology.

"I'll be fielding any questions you may have and my assistant, Carol, will be googling the answer."

"..Your analysis and medication would be perfect if you were a goat."

'We don't have a cure for your ailment but there is an appropriate app available.'

'This app is linked to my financial advisor and provides stimulated hand-holding when the market is down.'

Feel alienated by technology? Tell me more. Press 1 for yes, 2 for no.

Kevin had a computer virus.

Nethead strip: Over doing the time spent on the computer

"I'm sorry, but the doctor no longer sees patients in person. But he does take e-mail from 9 to 3."

'Do you want the pill, the suppository, the patch, or the app?'

"Sale. Save 100% of your energy by closing this website. Close now. No, thanks."

System failure - calling for sysadmin...

"...and how often do you feel monkas?"

'I'm sorry, but it's suffering from a terminal disease.'

"I have to tell you, I got a totally different diagnosis from someone named PookyPoo on medi-answer.com."

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

Unsocial Networking.

Deposit phones here

'My son is studying communications in college. He never writes, calls, texts, or emails his parents.'

"And if Ooh, Eeh, Ooh Ah Ah doesn't work, we'll try Walla Walla Bing Bang."

That's my diagnosis. If you want a second opinion, I will ask my Smart Phone

"And for that pain deep down in your soul, I'm going to prescribe the saxophone."

'Sure, you can communicate with him. He's also hooked up to the Internet.'

'This new diet drug comes as a pill, patch, or as a phone app with Siri saying, don't eat so much.'

"I've been using the latest home tech and apps to monitor my health....And after feeding the results into some online medical sites I discovered I was dead!"

'Sometimes, when I'm feeling unappreciated, I'll fake a system-wide data crash.'

"I'm referring you to a doctor with different software."

'If I do decide to get a second opinion, can I get it at your blog?'

"For heaven's sake, son...go out and MIX!"

"@FBarnes12 favorited a prophecy you were mentioned in."

"My smarthome just sent me a text saying it's a mess, so it doesn't feel like having visitors right now."

Palm Top Readings

"Nurse, could you please click Ok?"