Digital Doctor Enthusiast Gifts

"I'm referring you to a doctor with different software."

"So I'm perfectly healthy? That's good but will I still be able to research symptoms online and panic?"

"..Your analysis and medication would be perfect if you were a goat."

'This app is linked to my financial advisor and provides stimulated hand-holding when the market is down.'

Kevin had a computer virus.

'Having all this information on my patient's diagnostics is great, but I think I need a degree in data analytics to sort it all out...'

"I'm sorry, but the doctor no longer sees patients in person. But he does take e-mail from 9 to 3."

'Do you want the pill, the suppository, the patch, or the app?'

"...and how often do you feel monkas?"

Man Gives Computer Therapy/

'I'm sorry, but it's suffering from a terminal disease.'

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

"There was a system failure that caused a brief crash, but fortunately I was able to reboot."

'Sure, you can communicate with him. He's also hooked up to the Internet.'

'Sometimes, when I'm feeling unappreciated, I'll fake a system-wide data crash.'

"I've been using the latest home tech and apps to monitor my health....And after feeding the results into some online medical sites I discovered I was dead!"

Bones Reunited

"Take two aspirin and email me in the morning."

'If I do decide to get a second opinion, can I get it at your blog?'

'Take two of these and visit my website in the morning.'

"I'm getting the hang of the patient portal. It reminded me to refill my beta blocker, but I keep getting ads. Can you prescribe a good pop-up blocker too?"

"I'm a doctor, I'm allowed to google it."

Sad looking computer with plasters and a black eye

"My telemedical nutritionist calls it surprisingly smooth, with a fruity bouquet rendered more enticing due to a hing of cassis and touches of bell pepper aroma."

"I run a weight loss site, and my friend here runs a bodybuilding site."

"So, when you looked up your symptoms, did it say to complain about it incessantly but never seek treatment?"

"It's the only way I can get some of my patience to listen to me!"

I like having an older doctor. He understands my ailments and has most of em!

'Great news. There's a new, highly effective app for what you've got.'

Cyber-Cise: 'Let's start with 3 sets of 8 reps of uploading, rest and repeat for downloading.'

Going to a split screen doesn't count as a second opinion, doctor.

"Let me through! I'm admin!"

"Let's make a deal, doc. I'll stop diagnosing myself on the internet when you start making house calls again."

'Nurse Nodnik will be live blogging the operation.'

Information Virus.