Digital Doctoring Gifts

"I'm very impressed with your web research,this self-diagnosis would be 100% accurate...if you were a Patagonian fruit bat!"

'Since laughter is the best medicine, I have a joke, Hee, Hee, Haw,Ha!...that could simply wipe out your Infectious Mononucleosis!'

"So I'm perfectly healthy? That's good but will I still be able to research symptoms online and panic?"

"..Your analysis and medication would be perfect if you were a goat."

Doctor uses thermometer to check chicken.

'This app is linked to my financial advisor and provides stimulated hand-holding when the market is down.'

'Well, we're off for our xmas break - I'm sure you can manage without us for a couple of weeks.'

Kevin had a computer virus.

"I'm sorry, but the doctor no longer sees patients in person. But he does take e-mail from 9 to 3."

"...and how often do you feel monkas?"

'What's the use? Everyone has his own PC future-probability program these days.'

'I'm sorry, but it's suffering from a terminal disease.'

"Where should we target our advertising dollars? "Hold on, I'm checking my website."

'I put an app on your computer to remove cookies and other thins slowing it down. It's like fiber for your computer.'

"Interesting diagnosis. Now let's ask Google for a second opinion, shall we?"

'Sure, you can communicate with him. He's also hooked up to the Internet.'

'Sometimes, when I'm feeling unappreciated, I'll fake a system-wide data crash.'

'The next patient is allergic to cotton, silk, wool and synthetics.'

"I'm referring you to a doctor with different software."

"Take two aspirin and email me in the morning."

Palm Top Readings

"@FBarnes12 favorited a prophecy you were mentioned in."

Bones Reunited

'If I do decide to get a second opinion, can I get it at your blog?'

Sad looking computer with plasters and a black eye

"I'm a doctor, I'm allowed to google it."

You have a hangover!

"It's the only way I can get some of my patience to listen to me!"

"They went together, doctor!"

"Everything I see looks like a website captcha. I'm either having vision problems, or I'm spending too much time online."

'Great news. There's a new, highly effective app for what you've got.'

"You want a glass of water...Hang on I think I've got an app for that!"

"Let me through! I'm admin!"

"The doctor says your vital signs are strong, but the IT guy says your portal password is weak."