Digital Diagnosis Debater Gifts

'If you want a second opinion, I'll ask my computer

The Proust of Twitter

"So I'm perfectly healthy? That's good but will I still be able to research symptoms online and panic?"

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

"We broke up. I wanted a proprietary platform - she wanted open source."

"..Your analysis and medication would be perfect if you were a goat."

"I had a great weekend... My Grandpa talked about the war again and my Dad about his most daring facebook comments!"

'We're beta testing Goo-Goo Glass.'

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comments section just solved the Middle East crisis."

Kevin had a computer virus.

'I can watch T.V. shows on the computer, so who needs a TV?'

'I'm sorry, but it's suffering from a terminal disease.'

What'r We Doing Today, Daddy?

High Tech/Low Tech.

"Not now, honey. Daddy's arguing with strangers about the sexual orientation of puppets."

"I can tell you about this article or you can just read the comments online."

"I know you're wrong, I just can't get the computer to say it yet."

'When I was young we didn't have the interweb at our fingertips. . . we had to go to the library to get our questions answered!'

"Interesting diagnosis. Now let's ask Google for a second opinion, shall we?"

'Sure, you can communicate with him. He's also hooked up to the Internet.'

Modern Nursery Rhymes

'Don't internalise that simmering rage -- get it out of your system on website comments sections.'

"I'm a doctor, I'm allowed to google it."

Sad looking computer with plasters and a black eye

"No you can' 'google' number seven!"

"Yeah yeah, nice, but how many online followers do you have?"

"Of course you're not a failure - lots of people don't know how to tweet."

"The hive mind has reached a consensus about 'Wolverine'."

Humpty Dumpty sat on a paywall.