Digital Discourse Debater Gifts

"This twit keeps going on about social media echo chambers. I'm unfriending him."

So Many Exceptions There Are No Community Standards

My new laptop is nicer than your new laptop. I'm not going to get into a competition about whose new laptop is nicer. The one I replaced is nicer than the one you replaced. Stop it.

The Proust of Twitter

"Teleconferencing makes it just like they're in the room with us - things are unclear and difficult to understand."

'Don't bite. They're trolling again.'

"We broke up. I wanted a proprietary platform - she wanted open source."

'Honey, tell me honestly...does this operating system make me look big-endian?'

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comments section just solved the Middle East crisis."

"I had a great weekend... My Grandpa talked about the war again and my Dad about his most daring facebook comments!"

'I can watch T.V. shows on the computer, so who needs a TV?'

"I'm suffering the unbearable loneliness of being right on the internet."

I can't keep up, Randy. What happened, little buddy? You know how I created a hate-bot to automate my back you up in online arguments business? Don't tell me: The Russian troll farms beat you to it. No. My hate-bot became sentient and created an even snarkier hate-bot. Mankind is officially obsolete. For an extra $1, the HB-1000 will throw in racism and misogyny.

Too many people post comments in the heat of anger. They strike while the ire is hot!

"I can tell you about this article or you can just read the comments online."

"I learned my social skills on social media. . . what's it to you anyway you stupid cow?!"

"Not now, honey. Daddy's arguing with strangers about the sexual orientation of puppets."

"I know you're wrong, I just can't get the computer to say it yet."

"Sorry, Man! I had no idea Alexa would be here!"

The First Asshole

Philosophie.fr Bulletin Board - 1936

To tweet, or not to tweet - that is the question. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the snark and the venomous replies of anonymous jerks

Modern Nursery Rhymes

"Whatever the politicians might decide, I'm well prepared because I've got enough hate comments for the next five years!"

"No need to Whatsapp me dear, I'm right here."

"It killed on social media yet you say it's horrible?" "Lousy is lousy."

'Don't internalise that simmering rage -- get it out of your system on website comments sections.'

"I just wish I hadn't spent most of my life reading the comments below online news articles"

Oh no! What's wrong? I tweeted a sarcastic insult about Brian Blount, my nemesis in the race for class president. So? So … the sarcasm didn't come through. All my followers think I was praising him. Oh. Yeah, well sarcasm's tricky online. Oh no! My followers are confused about where my loyalties lie. Oh no! Some of them are calling me a sellout. They're saying they're disillusioned! Oh no! Now they've split into two factions, those who say I'm a sellout and those who say maybe Brian Blount isn't

Maybe Those Bots Can Be Used for Good

Every man and his dog gets to have an opinion on social media.

Rudy, be reasonable. We can't have a functioning media if everyone starts putting up their own stories on the web. We need professional ethics. We need editing. We need fact-checking. We need

"Uncommunicative? Have you tried texting him?"

"Great! Now I'm torn between whether to post rants on X or Meta."

"It's the first law of social media."