Digital Debate Activist Gifts

Social Media Hater

Hate Platforms

My new laptop is nicer than your new laptop. I'm not going to get into a competition about whose new laptop is nicer. The one I replaced is nicer than the one you replaced. Stop it.

The Proust of Twitter

"We broke up. I wanted a proprietary platform - she wanted open source."

"I had a great weekend... My Grandpa talked about the war again and my Dad about his most daring facebook comments!"

'We're beta testing Goo-Goo Glass.'

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comments section just solved the Middle East crisis."

Diner is served

'I can watch T.V. shows on the computer, so who needs a TV?'

I can't keep up, Randy. What happened, little buddy? You know how I created a hate-bot to automate my back you up in online arguments business? Don't tell me: The Russian troll farms beat you to it. No. My hate-bot became sentient and created an even snarkier hate-bot. Mankind is officially obsolete. For an extra $1, the HB-1000 will throw in racism and misogyny.

"I'm suffering the unbearable loneliness of being right on the internet."

'Follow the revolution on Facebook, Twitter, Youtube, Blogspot,,,'

'You see this app? It starts a revolution.'

What'r We Doing Today, Daddy?

Net Neutrality

"I can tell you about this article or you can just read the comments online."

The First Asshole

"Sorry, Man! I had no idea Alexa would be here!"

Philosophie.fr Bulletin Board - 1936

"I know you're wrong, I just can't get the computer to say it yet."

"Not now, honey. Daddy's arguing with strangers about the sexual orientation of puppets."

To tweet, or not to tweet - that is the question. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the snark and the venomous replies of anonymous jerks

'When I was young we didn't have the interweb at our fingertips. . . we had to go to the library to get our questions answered!'

Modern Nursery Rhymes

Rudy, be reasonable. We can't have a functioning media if everyone starts putting up their own stories on the web. We need professional ethics. We need editing. We need fact-checking. We need

That night, Andy attempted to start a Twitter revolution.

Oh no! What's wrong? I tweeted a sarcastic insult about Brian Blount, my nemesis in the race for class president. So? So … the sarcasm didn't come through. All my followers think I was praising him. Oh. Yeah, well sarcasm's tricky online. Oh no! My followers are confused about where my loyalties lie. Oh no! Some of them are calling me a sellout. They're saying they're disillusioned! Oh no! Now they've split into two factions, those who say I'm a sellout and those who say maybe Brian Blount isn't

"Hmm... I wonder what I can find to trigger my self-righteous indignation today..?"

"I just wish I hadn't spent most of my life reading the comments below online news articles"

'Don't internalise that simmering rage -- get it out of your system on website comments sections.'

"It's the first law of social media."

"No you can' 'google' number seven!"

"Yeah yeah, nice, but how many online followers do you have?"

"Ugh... Jerry Saltz is totally junking up my feed again."