Digital Discourse Crusader Gifts

Hate Comments

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

My new laptop is nicer than your new laptop. I'm not going to get into a competition about whose new laptop is nicer. The one I replaced is nicer than the one you replaced. Stop it.

The Proust of Twitter

"Your rule about no yelling out in class...that's a violation of my 1st Amendment rights!"

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

"Teleconferencing makes it just like they're in the room with us - things are unclear and difficult to understand."

The Freedom of the Press is Worth Fighting For!

"This is the communications workshop, right? Let’s get started, I’m prepared!"

'I thought people were quite receptive to the change seminar.'

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comments section just solved the Middle East crisis."

"I suppose we should start with listening skills!"

'Honey, tell me honestly...does this operating system make me look big-endian?'

"I had a great weekend... My Grandpa talked about the war again and my Dad about his most daring facebook comments!"

Blog Breakdown

'I think both of you are always too busy: You don't talk anymore...'

'I can watch T.V. shows on the computer, so who needs a TV?'

I can't keep up, Randy. What happened, little buddy? You know how I created a hate-bot to automate my back you up in online arguments business? Don't tell me: The Russian troll farms beat you to it. No. My hate-bot became sentient and created an even snarkier hate-bot. Mankind is officially obsolete. For an extra $1, the HB-1000 will throw in racism and misogyny.

Seeing the marriage counselor.

"I don't get this. I know that you're a computer hacker and must have done many bad things. But your record is completely clean!"

"Sorry, Man! I had no idea Alexa would be here!"

Philosophie.fr Bulletin Board - 1936

Knights of the iPhone

"I can tell you about this article or you can just read the comments online."

The First Asshole

"I know you're wrong, I just can't get the computer to say it yet."

"Not now, honey. Daddy's arguing with strangers about the sexual orientation of puppets."

"No need to Whatsapp me dear, I'm right here."

'Don't internalise that simmering rage -- get it out of your system on website comments sections.'

"It killed on social media yet you say it's horrible?" "Lousy is lousy."

That night, Andy attempted to start a Twitter revolution.

"Read the comments, boss. . . we should rename the whole thing from 'social media' to 'antisocial media'."

'If you could learn to open up a little, you might make a few more sales.'

Rudy, be reasonable. We can't have a functioning media if everyone starts putting up their own stories on the web. We need professional ethics. We need editing. We need fact-checking. We need