Digital Discourse Debater Pillows

"This twit keeps going on about social media echo chambers. I'm unfriending him."

The Proust of Twitter

"Teleconferencing makes it just like they're in the room with us - things are unclear and difficult to understand."

'Don't bite. They're trolling again.'

"We broke up. I wanted a proprietary platform - she wanted open source."

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comments section just solved the Middle East crisis."

"I had a great weekend... My Grandpa talked about the war again and my Dad about his most daring facebook comments!"

'Honey, tell me honestly...does this operating system make me look big-endian?'

'I can watch T.V. shows on the computer, so who needs a TV?'

"I'm suffering the unbearable loneliness of being right on the internet."

"I learned my social skills on social media. . . what's it to you anyway you stupid cow?!"

"Not now, honey. Daddy's arguing with strangers about the sexual orientation of puppets."

"I can tell you about this article or you can just read the comments online."

"I know you're wrong, I just can't get the computer to say it yet."

"Whatever the politicians might decide, I'm well prepared because I've got enough hate comments for the next five years!"

Modern Nursery Rhymes

'Don't internalise that simmering rage -- get it out of your system on website comments sections.'

"I just wish I hadn't spent most of my life reading the comments below online news articles"

"Uncommunicative? Have you tried texting him?"

Every man and his dog gets to have an opinion on social media.

"Great! Now I'm torn between whether to post rants on X or Meta."

"It killed on social media yet you say it's horrible?" "Lousy is lousy."

"It's the first law of social media."

"Yeah yeah, nice, but how many online followers do you have?"

Humpty Dumpty sat on a paywall.