Digital Debater Pillows

"How do you explain today's lesson was different than what's on Wikipedia?"

"Well, I can only be as informed as the paywall allows."

'Don't tell me I'm wrong...as far as I'm concerned it's your computer's word against my computer's word.'

Yeah, I used to get on message boards...

"Yeah yeah, nice, but how many online followers do you have?"

"Getting my daily news fix."

'I can watch T.V. shows on the computer, so who needs a TV?'

"Last month, I offended 367 people on social media..."

'This is fun, Dad -- I'm in a flame war with Vladimir Putin!'

'Don't internalise that simmering rage -- get it out of your system on website comments sections.'

'My newspaper doesn't crash, download a virus or have to be rebooted and it's the same version since 1851.'

"Since we have spell check, what's the point?"

"We lost Mr. Speak No Evil when he became a blogger."

"Did you write hate comments again?! Just wash your hands before lunch!!"

Online Agitation

"Hmmm. What am I gonna be outraged with today?"

The Proust of Twitter

"I had a great weekend... My Grandpa talked about the war again and my Dad about his most daring facebook comments!"

3 Minutes since you totally overreacted to someone's online post

Online chat

Angry Bird

"The hive mind has reached a consensus about 'Wolverine'."

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comments section just solved the Middle East crisis."

"Not now, honey. Daddy's arguing with strangers about the sexual orientation of puppets."

"I know you're wrong, I just can't get the computer to say it yet."

"I can tell you about this article or you can just read the comments online."

"I'd hate to think there's a national discussion I'm not part of."

'They carry a device to share images of furry creatures and get into virtual arguments with strangers.'

'I just read your blog. Do you want to settle this on or off line?'

'Really, I appreciate all the downloads you email me, but you're just not work 12 gigabytes on my hard drive.'