Online Debater Pillows

"I've got about 20 pages of questionable internet comments here."

Intelligence check has verified your comment. It's polemical, devoid of facts and completely stupid. You can now post it on social media.

"Whatever the politicians might decide, I'm well prepared because I've got enough hate comments for the next five years!"

'Don't bite. They're trolling again.'

'This is fun, Dad -- I'm in a flame war with Vladimir Putin!'

Blinkers

"Your profile picture is a person of color? What kind of racist blackface crap is that???!"

"I learned my social skills on social media. . . what's it to you anyway you stupid cow?!"

"He transitioned easily from belief in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny to nonsense on the internet."

Every man and his dog gets to have an opinion on social media.

"No. the doctor didn't prescribe any medication for my high blood pressure. He just told me to stop trying to win on-line arguments with anti-vaxxers."

"Great! Now I'm torn between whether to post rants on X or Meta."

"Not now, honey. Daddy's arguing with strangers about the sexual orientation of puppets."

"Maybe I can't be satisfied by just one endless online argument."

The Twitter logo with its mouth taped shut

"He seems to have drifted from online activism to couch-based complacency."

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

Dialogue

Hello, my name is riskyy@ronny5 and I am addicted to comments boards.

"Strawman argument terrorises conversation... News at eleven."

The Proust of Twitter

"Now that's a win."

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

"We broke up. I wanted a proprietary platform - she wanted open source."

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comments section just solved the Middle East crisis."

"Ever notice how grateful people are when you present them with facts contrary to their beliefs?"

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'And let such sacrilege go uncontested? Never! I demand equal time for alternate explanations of things.'

"On the contrary, Bosworth, it's YOU who has lost all perspective."

"I had a great weekend... My Grandpa talked about the war again and my Dad about his most daring facebook comments!"

'I'm now going to open the floor to questions.'

Like Minded

And now, for a rebuttal.

'I can watch T.V. shows on the computer, so who needs a TV?'

Global warming debate.

The last word.