Online Debates Pillows

"Thank you for participating in this poll, but because your answers do not coincide with your social media rantings, you're obviously lying."

"Gerald says there's quite a lively debate online about Israel."

I'm making extra money offering services on that freelance jobs site exploitrr.com. What're you offering, little buddy? Book promotion? Logo design? Backup services. For just $5 per thread, I'll back you up in all your online arguments. I suspect you're going to make a killing. I'll post things like you sure told him! And you're brilliant, total stranger!

"He used to think he was his own worst enemy..."

The Internet

My new laptop is nicer than your new laptop. I'm not going to get into a competition about whose new laptop is nicer. The one I replaced is nicer than the one you replaced. Stop it.

The Proust of Twitter

Hello, my name is riskyy@ronny5 and I am addicted to comments boards.

'Don't bite. They're trolling again.'

"We broke up. I wanted a proprietary platform - she wanted open source."

"I had a great weekend... My Grandpa talked about the war again and my Dad about his most daring facebook comments!"

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comments section just solved the Middle East crisis."

Who Are You Going to Believe, Us Or Your Lying Eyes and Ears?

'I can watch T.V. shows on the computer, so who needs a TV?'

I can't keep up, Randy. What happened, little buddy? You know how I created a hate-bot to automate my back you up in online arguments business? Don't tell me: The Russian troll farms beat you to it. No. My hate-bot became sentient and created an even snarkier hate-bot. Mankind is officially obsolete. For an extra $1, the HB-1000 will throw in racism and misogyny.

"I'm suffering the unbearable loneliness of being right on the internet."

Too many people post comments in the heat of anger. They strike while the ire is hot!

"How's your lowrider blog going?"

"I know you're wrong, I just can't get the computer to say it yet."

To tweet, or not to tweet - that is the question. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the snark and the venomous replies of anonymous jerks

"Not now, honey. Daddy's arguing with strangers about the sexual orientation of puppets."

The First Asshole

"Sorry, Man! I had no idea Alexa would be here!"

"I learned my social skills on social media. . . what's it to you anyway you stupid cow?!"

"I can tell you about this article or you can just read the comments online."

Philosophie.fr Bulletin Board - 1936

Unsocial Networking.

"Whatever the politicians might decide, I'm well prepared because I've got enough hate comments for the next five years!"

Maybe Those Bots Can Be Used for Good

"Great! Now I'm torn between whether to post rants on X or Meta."

Oh no! What's wrong? I tweeted a sarcastic insult about Brian Blount, my nemesis in the race for class president. So? So … the sarcasm didn't come through. All my followers think I was praising him. Oh. Yeah, well sarcasm's tricky online. Oh no! My followers are confused about where my loyalties lie. Oh no! Some of them are calling me a sellout. They're saying they're disillusioned! Oh no! Now they've split into two factions, those who say I'm a sellout and those who say maybe Brian Blount isn't

Rudy, be reasonable. We can't have a functioning media if everyone starts putting up their own stories on the web. We need professional ethics. We need editing. We need fact-checking. We need

"Hmm... I wonder what I can find to trigger my self-righteous indignation today..?"

'Don't internalise that simmering rage -- get it out of your system on website comments sections.'

Every man and his dog gets to have an opinion on social media.