Modern Socrates Gifts

'...On the other hand - the examined life sucks too.'

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

"Here's something called "The Fifty Greatest Countdown Shows Ever!""

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

'An encyclopedia? I don't know. Let's look up what it is on Wikipedia.'

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding as written and as it would have been written if David Hume had invested in a word processor,

"Do you have an appointment?"

Wikipedia...

"Excuse me, Doc, my attention wandered. What type of deficit disorder did you say I had?"

God's Phone

Witches of Instagram

"All the celebrities come here."

"That's what I love about social media. I can have connections with thousands of people and yet still be completely isolated and alone."

"Amazing, eh? Good-looking, dependable, trustworthy, inflatable."

Snowman Driver

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

"Welcome aboard - That'll be your work station over there."

"It was Socrates, wasn't it, who said, 'The unexamined life is not worth living'?"

"We no longer use Astrology or crystal balls. We now use algorithms to predict the future."

Yogi back in 5.

"You're on mute."

'I think 'The Cloud' knows more thank you think.'

"Have you tried turning off your conscious mind and then turning it back on again?"

"I don't care if it does have wifi. . . it's a vegetable peeler!"

'Glen Hoddle employs faith healer' "Remember the days we only had a magic sponge?"

"You can huff and puff all you want. The house is foreclosed and belongs to the bank."

Snake with headphones.

"Social media makes it impossible to see, hear or speak no evil."

'He says he's tried sending you tweets but his cell phones keep melting.'

"I hacked into Santa's computer and discovered we're not on his naughty list. I feel we're letting our generation down."

A bull which has seen red.