Modern Security Buffs Pillows

'Thanks, Grandma! How do I password protect it?'

High security Santa's grotto

'Where was the TSA?'

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

"OK, you're good and just the guy we need in security."

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

"It's a fantastic computer! It's so old that none of today's hackers know how to hack it!"

'NO, it DOESN'T come on DISC!'

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

'Best watchdog I ever had!'

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

Ursula von der Leyen Surrounded By Donald Trump Heads on Island

CCTV in church.

"It says 'beware of robot dog.'"

Aggression/Security

'And in local news: Someone is hiding behind the drapes.'

The Ayatollah Bomb?

"Rest assured, anything you say in this office won't get repeated by me."

'It's a foolproof computer network, sir, that no one can break into, not even a kid.'

'This biometric ID badge is part of the new security system. The badge contains my encoded retinal scan, fingerprints, and level of job enthusiasm.'

"If you're my gramma you wouldn't have a problem consenting to a retina scan!"

"Fifth robbery this week. That's not a security camera ??" a local TV news station installed it to save time."

"I like to think of myself as a vital link in the homeland-security system."

'Principal McWit, a student without an appointment is here and says he's holding your computer access codes for ransom.'

'Someone is reading our emails. I'm afraid this means we're going to have to talk to each other.'

The prime minister: the current threat to national security...

'Don't worry -- the security camera is for your own protection.'

'Arnold, blow the whole depot, then hightail it out of here.'

Eurocopa 2016