Modern Security Buffs Pillows

'Thanks, Grandma! How do I password protect it?'

High security Santa's grotto

'Where was the TSA?'

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

"OK, you're good and just the guy we need in security."

"That? It's where I keep all my passwords."

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

"It's a fantastic computer! It's so old that none of today's hackers know how to hack it!"

'Best watchdog I ever had!'

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

'NO, it DOESN'T come on DISC!'

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

"It says 'beware of robot dog.'"

CCTV in church.

Aggression/Security

Ursula von der Leyen Surrounded By Donald Trump Heads on Island

The Best Defense

Who are the most important people at the World Cup?

'And in local news: Someone is hiding behind the drapes.'

Biro Security

The Ayatollah Bomb?

"Rest assured, anything you say in this office won't get repeated by me."

'It's a foolproof computer network, sir, that no one can break into, not even a kid.'

'This biometric ID badge is part of the new security system. The badge contains my encoded retinal scan, fingerprints, and level of job enthusiasm.'

"I like to think of myself as a vital link in the homeland-security system."

"Fifth robbery this week. That's not a security camera ??" a local TV news station installed it to save time."

"If you're my gramma you wouldn't have a problem consenting to a retina scan!"

'Don't worry -- the security camera is for your own protection.'

'Someone is reading our emails. I'm afraid this means we're going to have to talk to each other.'

Huawei Five-O

Eurocopa 2016

The ultimate Secret Service demotion. We're sending you to guard Mount Rushmore.

'He's Barack Obama? I thought you said 'he brought a bomb on!''

TSA