Quirky Security Enthusiasts Pillows

Plant with dogs head scaring burglar

'Where was the TSA?'

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

"All it will do is move crime to the South Pole."

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

"It says 'beware of robot dog.'"

CCTV in church.

"Why can't we just have a normal home security system like the neighbours."

The Ayatollah Bomb?

"Rest assured, anything you say in this office won't get repeated by me."

'This biometric ID badge is part of the new security system. The badge contains my encoded retinal scan, fingerprints, and level of job enthusiasm.'

"Fifth robbery this week. That's not a security camera ??" a local TV news station installed it to save time."

"If you're my gramma you wouldn't have a problem consenting to a retina scan!"

'Principal McWit, a student without an appointment is here and says he's holding your computer access codes for ransom.'

'Someone is reading our emails. I'm afraid this means we're going to have to talk to each other.'

The prime minister: the current threat to national security...

'Arnold, blow the whole depot, then hightail it out of here.'

'Don't worry -- the security camera is for your own protection.'

'They take patient privacy so seriously around here they encrypt your name!'

All items on the premises have been marked for identification: 'My cat sprayed everything in the house.'

'This fridge is fitted with CCTV.'

'Halt! User name and password.'

'D'you ever get that uncanny feeling we're not being watched.'

Every time I try to warn people about the threat level, they say, surely, you jest.

'Stop! That's no way to get data into the cloud.'

Smile you're on camera! You're also on my podcast!

"My mom the security expert never trusted me. She'd never tell me her maiden name."

Beware of dog armed with cloaking device.

"Your calls may be monitored for training purposes..."

ACL-To Hell With-U.