Quirky Home Security Lover Pillows

"Why can't we just have a normal home security system like the neighbours."

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

No Soliciting

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

'Best watchdog I ever had!'

Well, you and I know it's our home, but our 'smart home' doesn't know it's our home

' ... and this is the half bath.'

'It started out as just a little knot on the floor,'

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

"All it will do is move crime to the South Pole."

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"Sold For sale Ellie Kopp 1-800-238-7463 Yaffle Realty Stop renting. Buy your boot from a boot."

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

'And in local news: Someone is hiding behind the drapes.'

"I forgot to turn on the alarm." "It's all right, Peedy is there."

'Beware you don't trip over him!'

"Brutus! Attack with reasonable force!"

"I like to think of myself as a vital link in the homeland-security system."

'A-1 security from crime ... but can't stand the isolation.'

'This place is rather unusually located. Do you folks like sunsets?'

The bulb family leaves for vacation

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'Your father installed a security system.'

"Nice job with the petunias, Skip. They're a perfect complement to the trip wires."

'I can't understand how those burglars could clean out our house so quietly.'

'It even has its own built-in home security system!'

'Hello, security.'

"I just installed a home security monitor."