Security Enthusiasts Pillows

'When we ask you to present a photo ID we prefer one that has your own picture on it.'

'We got tired of being broken into.'

'Mummy...what is that...?'

"Good evening sir. Could I interest you in one of our latest security devices?"

"Look, dear! This isn't childish nonsense - Junior's written his first password!"

Bodyguards doing their duty.

'Yes, I do feel safer, but the key sure is a hassle to carry around.'

"They're only dummy home security signs, but I've sharped the edges so they'll cut you like a razor."

F&E Diner. The TSA agent turned health inspector didn't find any violations. Our soup is on the "no-fly" list.

Supermarket Bomb Threat.

'Can you bench press a loaded key chain?'

Couple getting married. Woman says 'With this lo-jack I thee wed.'

Football Security.

Be forwarned of canine.

Office of Homeland Security

"While we do appreciate your diligence... It's not the store's policy to shoot shoplifters!"

'If you were younger I'd tell you that the tooth fairy might leave quarters for the teeth broken off your key.'

"I'm sorry sir, I can't hand anything over unless you give me your mother's maiden name!"

"Hold on. I'll buzz you in."

'Where was the TSA?'

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

"On a positive note, he's not our boss. He's the guy who stole our boss's identity."

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

A Little Extra

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

"These targeted ads are getting out of hand."

CCTV in church.

"It says 'beware of robot dog.'"

Who are the most important people at the World Cup?

The Ayatollah Bomb?

"This is Alexander. He’ll be heading up our hacking division."

"Are you sure you updated the anti-virus software?"

Biro Security