Security-conscious Enthusiast Pillows

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

'Where was the TSA?'

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

On the brink.

"Could you all please pay attention while I go through the emergency procedure. . ."

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

'You're right. Our old safety files have become a safety concern.'

Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

"Helmet, check. Harness, check. Knee and elbow pads, check. You may now push the swing."

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

Job Safety - Pumpkin.

Caution signs.

"All it will do is move crime to the South Pole."

Mother hen driving with 'Eggs on Board' sign.

Daddy showed me why I should always wear my bicycle helmet!

Health and safety notice falling on builder.

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

"Now that's a great number if you want to be protected from the entire environment."

"I think I found a location for our vacation."

CCTV in church.

'News headline: Britain unsafe to bring up young children.'

"These targeted ads are getting out of hand."

'Yeah, the job's got great benefits, but mainly I like the safe work environment.'

'Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to our new 'health and safety' officer.'