Car Security Aficionado Pillows

'Where was the TSA?'

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

"All it will do is move crime to the South Pole."

CCTV in church.

"Seriously Dad, it totally wasn't my fault."

"Hackers, Sire! They've broken through our firewall."

'What the … ? How did those thugs get into my car?'

The Ayatollah Bomb?

"Rest assured, anything you say in this office won't get repeated by me."

'This biometric ID badge is part of the new security system. The badge contains my encoded retinal scan, fingerprints, and level of job enthusiasm.'

"If you're my gramma you wouldn't have a problem consenting to a retina scan!"

"Fifth robbery this week. That's not a security camera ??" a local TV news station installed it to save time."

'Someone is reading our emails. I'm afraid this means we're going to have to talk to each other.'

The prime minister: the current threat to national security...

'Your father installed a security system.'

'Don't worry -- the security camera is for your own protection.'

'Principal McWit, a student without an appointment is here and says he's holding your computer access codes for ransom.'

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"Hi, I'm the new IT-security-expert! Where is your server room? I want to see if I can overcome your firewall!"

'They take patient privacy so seriously around here they encrypt your name!'

'This fridge is fitted with CCTV.'

All items on the premises have been marked for identification: 'My cat sprayed everything in the house.'

'Halt! User name and password.'

'It even has its own built-in home security system!'

Beware of dog armed with cloaking device.

"Your calls may be monitored for training purposes..."

ACL-To Hell With-U.