Security Lovers Pillows

Safe harbour

'Where was the TSA?'

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

CCTV in church.

The Ayatollah Bomb?

"...and if you both can successfully complete this CAPTCHA, we'll continue with the vows."

"Rest assured, anything you say in this office won't get repeated by me."

'This biometric ID badge is part of the new security system. The badge contains my encoded retinal scan, fingerprints, and level of job enthusiasm.'

"If you're my gramma you wouldn't have a problem consenting to a retina scan!"

"Fifth robbery this week. That's not a security camera ??" a local TV news station installed it to save time."

'Don't worry -- the security camera is for your own protection.'

The prime minister: the current threat to national security...

'Arnold, blow the whole depot, then hightail it out of here.'

'Principal McWit, a student without an appointment is here and says he's holding your computer access codes for ransom.'

'Someone is reading our emails. I'm afraid this means we're going to have to talk to each other.'

'They take patient privacy so seriously around here they encrypt your name!'

'This fridge is fitted with CCTV.'

All items on the premises have been marked for identification: 'My cat sprayed everything in the house.'

'Halt! User name and password.'

Shepherd watching sheep on closed circuit TV

'You're right, good joke, bad timing...'

"Your calls may be monitored for training purposes..."

Beware of the dog.

Smile you're on camera! You're also on my podcast!

Beware of dog armed with cloaking device.

'D'you ever get that uncanny feeling we're not being watched.'

ACL-To Hell With-U.