Over-the-top Security Lover Pillows

"Brenda takes no chances over someone stealing our washing."

'Where was the TSA?'

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

"All it will do is move crime to the South Pole."

CCTV in church.

"...and if you both can successfully complete this CAPTCHA, we'll continue with the vows."

"Why can't we just have a normal home security system like the neighbours."

The Ayatollah Bomb?

"Rest assured, anything you say in this office won't get repeated by me."

'This biometric ID badge is part of the new security system. The badge contains my encoded retinal scan, fingerprints, and level of job enthusiasm.'

"Fifth robbery this week. That's not a security camera ??" a local TV news station installed it to save time."

"If you're my gramma you wouldn't have a problem consenting to a retina scan!"

'Don't worry -- the security camera is for your own protection.'

The prime minister: the current threat to national security...

'Principal McWit, a student without an appointment is here and says he's holding your computer access codes for ransom.'

'Someone is reading our emails. I'm afraid this means we're going to have to talk to each other.'

'They take patient privacy so seriously around here they encrypt your name!'

'This fridge is fitted with CCTV.'

All items on the premises have been marked for identification: 'My cat sprayed everything in the house.'

'Halt! User name and password.'

Beware of dog armed with cloaking device.

'D'you ever get that uncanny feeling we're not being watched.'

"Your calls may be monitored for training purposes..."

ACL-To Hell With-U.

Shepherd watching sheep on closed circuit TV

'You're right, good joke, bad timing...'

Every time I try to warn people about the threat level, they say, surely, you jest.