Over-the-top Security Lover T-Shirts

"Brenda takes no chances over someone stealing our washing."

'Where was the TSA?'

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

"All it will do is move crime to the South Pole."

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

CCTV in church.

Who are the most important people at the World Cup?

Forgot your locker combination? Let Sammy the weasel pick it open for you!

Biro Security

"Why can't we just have a normal home security system like the neighbours."

"...and if you both can successfully complete this CAPTCHA, we'll continue with the vows."

The Ayatollah Bomb?

"Rest assured, anything you say in this office won't get repeated by me."

'This biometric ID badge is part of the new security system. The badge contains my encoded retinal scan, fingerprints, and level of job enthusiasm.'

"Fifth robbery this week. That's not a security camera ??" a local TV news station installed it to save time."

"If you're my gramma you wouldn't have a problem consenting to a retina scan!"

'Principal McWit, a student without an appointment is here and says he's holding your computer access codes for ransom.'

'He's Barack Obama? I thought you said 'he brought a bomb on!''

The ultimate Secret Service demotion. We're sending you to guard Mount Rushmore.

'Someone is reading our emails. I'm afraid this means we're going to have to talk to each other.'

The prime minister: the current threat to national security...

'Don't worry -- the security camera is for your own protection.'

'They take patient privacy so seriously around here they encrypt your name!'

'This fridge is fitted with CCTV.'

All items on the premises have been marked for identification: 'My cat sprayed everything in the house.'

'Halt! User name and password.'

ACL-To Hell With-U.

"My mom the security expert never trusted me. She'd never tell me her maiden name."

Beware of dog armed with cloaking device.

'D'you ever get that uncanny feeling we're not being watched.'

'Stop! That's no way to get data into the cloud.'

Every time I try to warn people about the threat level, they say, surely, you jest.

"Your calls may be monitored for training purposes..."