Security Gadget Lovers Pillows

'My home's got 'fortress' features galore - the best burglar alarm - armed security guards - intercom system - closed-circuit television - etc. ... I'm a virtual prisoner in my own home!'

"I don't understand it! My nerd detector's going crazy!"

"Again, are you sure I didn't mention about bringing your own 3-D glasses?"

"We should have done more to bring all the things we were trying to get away from."

Shark tower surveillance camera.

Car robbers foiled by mousetraps surrounding a car.

'Why pay the airline $7.00 for a beer, when I can get a drone to deliver 6 for the same price?'

'Mr. Schmenk will see you now...IN PERSON.'

Shepherd watching sheep on closed circuit TV

'Talk about advanced technology! It even has a beer holder!'

' ... and I'd suggest you spend less time surfing the web.'

Safe harbour

"Hold on. I'll buzz you in."

'I'm a firm believer in not going out of my way to give employees the opportunity to test their honesty.'

"They're only dummy home security signs, but I've sharped the edges so they'll cut you like a razor."

'I'm a Guard Dog alright: If there's a problem, I just need to press the panic button to raise the alarm...'

"While we do appreciate your diligence... It's not the store's policy to shoot shoplifters!"

Crime-Be-Gone - Fence-O-Matic!

Surveillance Camera Phones on the Premises.

"Sign of the times, eh?"

'Mom said to keep an eye on you!'

The car alarm snooze button.

'Yes I suppose it is a bit more fiddly than a crooklock...'

Lost your keys, but can't afford a certified locksmith? Hire they guys at Very Cheap, but Very Effective Door Opening Service.

"Our new furniture is a remarkable piece of Japanese technology that changes ambience depending on your mood."

'I think I just erased all of my innermost thoughts.'

'Can you bench press a loaded key chain?'

"HDTV?"