Security Gadget Admirer Pillows

Warning: This car is protected by powerful anti-squeegee devices.

'Where was the TSA?'

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

CCTV in church.

Forgot your locker combination? Let Sammy the weasel pick it open for you!

"Their technological toys are nothing compared to the power of the supply side."

The Ayatollah Bomb?

Shark tower surveillance camera.

'This biometric ID badge is part of the new security system. The badge contains my encoded retinal scan, fingerprints, and level of job enthusiasm.'

"Fifth robbery this week. That's not a security camera ??" a local TV news station installed it to save time."

"If you're my gramma you wouldn't have a problem consenting to a retina scan!"

The ultimate Secret Service demotion. We're sending you to guard Mount Rushmore.

'Someone is reading our emails. I'm afraid this means we're going to have to talk to each other.'

'Principal McWit, a student without an appointment is here and says he's holding your computer access codes for ransom.'

'Don't worry -- the security camera is for your own protection.'

The prime minister: the current threat to national security...

'He's Barack Obama? I thought you said 'he brought a bomb on!''

Car robbers foiled by mousetraps surrounding a car.

'They take patient privacy so seriously around here they encrypt your name!'

Meanwhile back at the pond 'Wow... nice pad man!'

'This fridge is fitted with CCTV.'

All items on the premises have been marked for identification: 'My cat sprayed everything in the house.'

'Halt! User name and password.'

Museum. So the thieves got past us with a few items, it's not like the stuff was new.

'You're right, good joke, bad timing...'

Beware of the dog.

ACL-To Hell With-U.

Smile you're on camera! You're also on my podcast!

"My mom the security expert never trusted me. She'd never tell me her maiden name."

Every time I try to warn people about the threat level, they say, surely, you jest.

'Stop! That's no way to get data into the cloud.'

'D'you ever get that uncanny feeling we're not being watched.'