Security Gadget Lover Pillows

Father Christmas under CCTV surveillance going down a chimney.

'My new security system vaporizes anyone who gets too close to my bike. I'm going to miss Jim.'

"Sign of the times, eh?"

'I'm a firm believer in not going out of my way to give employees the opportunity to test their honesty.'

'Where was the TSA?'

"I don't understand it! My nerd detector's going crazy!"

"Again, are you sure I didn't mention about bringing your own 3-D glasses?"

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

CCTV in church.

"We should have done more to bring all the things we were trying to get away from."

The Ayatollah Bomb?

Shark tower surveillance camera.

'This biometric ID badge is part of the new security system. The badge contains my encoded retinal scan, fingerprints, and level of job enthusiasm.'

"If you're my gramma you wouldn't have a problem consenting to a retina scan!"

"Fifth robbery this week. That's not a security camera ??" a local TV news station installed it to save time."

'Someone is reading our emails. I'm afraid this means we're going to have to talk to each other.'

'Don't worry -- the security camera is for your own protection.'

'Principal McWit, a student without an appointment is here and says he's holding your computer access codes for ransom.'

The prime minister: the current threat to national security...

Car robbers foiled by mousetraps surrounding a car.

'They take patient privacy so seriously around here they encrypt your name!'

'This fridge is fitted with CCTV.'

All items on the premises have been marked for identification: 'My cat sprayed everything in the house.'

'Halt! User name and password.'

'You're right, good joke, bad timing...'

'D'you ever get that uncanny feeling we're not being watched.'

"My mom the security expert never trusted me. She'd never tell me her maiden name."

"Your calls may be monitored for training purposes..."

ACL-To Hell With-U.

Beware of the dog.

'Stop! That's no way to get data into the cloud.'

Smile you're on camera! You're also on my podcast!