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Warning: This car is protected by powerful anti-squeegee devices.

'Where was the TSA?'

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

CCTV in church.

"Their technological toys are nothing compared to the power of the supply side."

Shark tower surveillance camera.

The Ayatollah Bomb?

'This biometric ID badge is part of the new security system. The badge contains my encoded retinal scan, fingerprints, and level of job enthusiasm.'

"If you're my gramma you wouldn't have a problem consenting to a retina scan!"

"Fifth robbery this week. That's not a security camera ??" a local TV news station installed it to save time."

Car robbers foiled by mousetraps surrounding a car.

'Someone is reading our emails. I'm afraid this means we're going to have to talk to each other.'

'Don't worry -- the security camera is for your own protection.'

'Principal McWit, a student without an appointment is here and says he's holding your computer access codes for ransom.'

The prime minister: the current threat to national security...

'They take patient privacy so seriously around here they encrypt your name!'

Meanwhile back at the pond 'Wow... nice pad man!'

'This fridge is fitted with CCTV.'

All items on the premises have been marked for identification: 'My cat sprayed everything in the house.'

'Halt! User name and password.'

Beware of the dog.

Every time I try to warn people about the threat level, they say, surely, you jest.

ACL-To Hell With-U.

"Your calls may be monitored for training purposes..."

'Mr. Schmenk will see you now...IN PERSON.'

'You're right, good joke, bad timing...'

"My mom the security expert never trusted me. She'd never tell me her maiden name."

'Stop! That's no way to get data into the cloud.'

'D'you ever get that uncanny feeling we're not being watched.'