Tech Security Buff Pillows

The 'It's safe - Streetview's not in real time' argument.

Not Necessary.

Track and Trace Security Issues

High security Santa's grotto

'Where was the TSA?'

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

"OK, you're good and just the guy we need in security."

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

"It's a fantastic computer! It's so old that none of today's hackers know how to hack it!"

Roger Buffle Jr. supplies his father with yet another computer password.

"To retrieve password: Please answer your secret question, which is, 'what is your password?' hahahaha!"

'Kumor's responsible for all the computer passwords, so the boss had him encrypted.'

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

"The new computer is great, but we can't get rid of the old one. It knows too much."

Aggression/Security

"Get used to verifications. In the court of the internet, you are presumed a robot until proven otherwise."

CCTV in church.

"I think earth's antivirus software expired."

"Hackers, Sire! They've broken through our firewall."

"WIFI, Amazon, credit cards. Pretty much every password is named after me."

'What a day! Caught between a Wiki leak and a document dump.'

The Ayatollah Bomb?

"Honey, our pop-up blocker stopped working again."

'Since PRISM, nothing is 'off the record' any more.'

"Rest assured, anything you say in this office won't get repeated by me."

'It's a foolproof computer network, sir, that no one can break into, not even a kid.'

'This biometric ID badge is part of the new security system. The badge contains my encoded retinal scan, fingerprints, and level of job enthusiasm.'

"Tell me when it's all cyber warfare, and I'll enlist!"

"I like to think of myself as a vital link in the homeland-security system."

"Fifth robbery this week. That's not a security camera ??" a local TV news station installed it to save time."

IT security.

"If you're my gramma you wouldn't have a problem consenting to a retina scan!"