Security Buffs Pillows

If you're worried about stalkers..

'I'm sorry, sir... But you can't bring that on board.'

'Can I see some ID?' - 'I'm your husband you dope.'

'I used to be a Guard-Dog, but now, they've installed CCTV cameras instead...'

'Arnold, blow the whole depot, then hightail it out of here.'

'What's the pass-word?'

"I think we'd better tighten security on our vehicle, Maureen..."

"This app encrypts verbal communications. My doctor's handwriting is all we need to encrypt everything else."

"Sorry sir, but all our operatives are AAA-rated: we don't do junkyards..."

High security Santa's grotto

'Where was the TSA?'

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

Man runs into Bigfoot taking a selfie.

"OK, you're good and just the guy we need in security."

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

"It's a fantastic computer! It's so old that none of today's hackers know how to hack it!"

'Best watchdog I ever had!'

Highlights From The Annual Central Park Country Fair

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

Roger Buffle Jr. supplies his father with yet another computer password.

"To retrieve password: Please answer your secret question, which is, 'what is your password?' hahahaha!"

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

Aggression/Security

Ursula von der Leyen Surrounded By Donald Trump Heads on Island

CCTV in church.

'And in local news: Someone is hiding behind the drapes.'

"WIFI, Amazon, credit cards. Pretty much every password is named after me."

The Ayatollah Bomb?

"I have no feelings about having no feelings."

'What a day! Caught between a Wiki leak and a document dump.'

'What the … ? How did those thugs get into my car?'

"Here's the remote to your smart home. It's big, but the good news is you'll never lose it."

"Rest assured, anything you say in this office won't get repeated by me."

'It's a foolproof computer network, sir, that no one can break into, not even a kid.'

'This biometric ID badge is part of the new security system. The badge contains my encoded retinal scan, fingerprints, and level of job enthusiasm.'