Modern Scribe Gifts

Monks sitting at a row of computers typing up old-fashioned looking manuscripts.

"He calls it the eBible."

I should be a writer when I grow up...

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

"More rescue efforts, less screenplay."

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

"I'm sorry, Walter, but I need room to write."

'My manuscript is available for download on the internet. I'll email the link to you.'

"It's publish or perish, and he hasn't published."

Script/Director/Producer/Decency Panel.

"I had that dream again where you're writing down all my fears and anxieties and working them into a screenplay."

"It was only when I started to write the story of my life that I realised I'd forgotten to have one."

Waiting Room For Godot.

Alexander Pope

Writer breaks in new electric typewriter.

"Jose Rivera, who wrote the screenplay for 'The Motorcycle Diaries,' is the first Puerto Rican screenwriter to be nominated for an Oscar. He's known for incorporating his life experiences into his award-winning writing."

"Here it is - my novel. I'll be interested to hear your compliments."

'I still write all my novels longhand.'

Dame Edna Sitwell

Computer literate Monk

"Tests! That's one thing I don't like about the end of school. I can't believe it! You're not finished studying, either?"

Modern publishing.

'We have the ideas for product placement and now all we need is the script.'

No caption. (Rowers carry an oar in four briefcases).

"Listen, you'll take another break after Deuteronomy and I'll make you some chicken noodle soup."

'Sorry, your resume isn't funny enough.'

'Hold the front page, Brother Cuthbert!'

Monk writing the scriptures on a roll

'Precise, analytical and beautifully reasoned address. Now condense it down to a snappy sports metaphor.'

Writers strike.

'Your story is extremely sexist, dubious and dumb, the characters are one-dimensional and primitive. In other words - you wrote a bestseller, mister!'

Pencil Rubber

"First, let me begin by admitting that the unexpected and rather brazen theft of our teleprompter has left me somewhat speechless."