Electric Scribe Gifts

Writer breaks in new electric typewriter.

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

A boy is sat at a desk, with five plaques implying different qualifications he has earned from using social media.

"More rescue efforts, less screenplay."

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

"I'm sorry, Walter, but I need room to write."

The First Sentence Fragment: 'Hey, don't -'

Script/Director/Producer/Decency Panel.

"I had that dream again where you're writing down all my fears and anxieties and working them into a screenplay."

"It was only when I started to write the story of my life that I realised I'd forgotten to have one."

Monks sitting at a row of computers typing up old-fashioned looking manuscripts.

Waiting Room For Godot.

"Jose Rivera, who wrote the screenplay for 'The Motorcycle Diaries,' is the first Puerto Rican screenwriter to be nominated for an Oscar. He's known for incorporating his life experiences into his award-winning writing."

'On Company Time: A Novel'

"Here it is - my novel. I'll be interested to hear your compliments."

'Hurry up, I'm dying to use the blog'

Modern publishing.

'We have the ideas for product placement and now all we need is the script.'

Writers Block: "Day 24 and still no typewriter!"

'Sorry, your resume isn't funny enough.'

TV announcement: 'The Consumer Product Safety Commission today announced the recall of all E-Z Reclino-Mat chairs sold between ...'

"He calls it the eBible."

'Your story is extremely sexist, dubious and dumb, the characters are one-dimensional and primitive. In other words - you wrote a bestseller, mister!'

"First, let me begin by admitting that the unexpected and rather brazen theft of our teleprompter has left me somewhat speechless."

Pencil Rubber

"Philosopical argument needs an elephant in the room. Can you handle it, sweetie?"

Plato's Republic as it was written and as it would have been written if Plato's academy had invested in a good word processor,

"I guess that I just made a career change from novelist to ghost writer."

"And that's my guardian angel!"

Dear diary, I have to make this quick. I think my blog is onto us.

"The most useful course I've ever done was the "Creative Writing" course I did as a kid: It's been invaluable in writing Grant Applications..."

'I've gotten quite a bit out of that creative writing class. I think I'll become a literary agent.'

The Pen is Mightier than the Sword