Modern Parenting Dilemma Gifts

"Wasn't it your turn to drop him to online school?!"

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

"They want to put up a new cell tower in our neighbourhood?! We don't need more of those radio emission eyesores here! I'm gonna complain... ...as soon as I have better signal strength."

"He just said his first word!"

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies

"Oh, Frank, look! He's sending his first tweet!"

A child sitting on a swing - while playing with a hand-held electronic device or phone

"Never mind Benjamin – he just lawyers-up to get attention."

Kid is 'Born to Text'.

'Those are my triplets. Com, Net and Org Barnes.'

"I brought frankincense." "I brought gold." "I brought diapers!" "A wise woman!"

'We're beta testing Goo-Goo Glass.'

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

"Is the Itsy Bitsy Spider obsessive-compulsive?"

You're right-this is way better than a standing desk.

"Now, Mrs. Stevens, go to work, relax, and leave the social engineering to us."

'Have you googled me to see how old I was when I was born?'

'I don't care if an app on your phone is monitoring you, you still need a baby sitter when your father and I are gone.'

'He's already surfing without nappies!'

Phone Mittens

"Are we there yet? Are we there yet?..."

'Sending someone to his room was a punishment when I was a kid.'

"Santa said to stop making toys. From here on out we'll be making computers and phones. Does anyone know anything about technology?"

"We're going to start with the birds and the bees and then work our way up to the new reproductive technologies."

'I know Jesus spoke in parables. Now for the last time, tell me exactly where you put my car keys.'

'I'm so glad this bedtime story comes in audio.'

'Jimmy made his first blog post today.'

"We named him XB32116 so we never forget the Wi-Fi password."

"I was hoping her first sentence would be, 'I love you, mommy.' Not, 'what's the Wi-Fi password?'"

"When the evil witch pushes the children into the oven, .... that's just a metaphor for putting them in the microwave"

Big book of memes

"Madonno and Child"

"They grow up so fast. From Mother Goose to Google."