Parenting Conundrums Gifts

"Next time, YOU can tell him to go on the naughty step."

"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."

Suffering from Cooties?

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

'Of course I put my kids first! Look at how much I pay the nanny!!'

A Mix Up Between the Buggy and Lawn Mower.

'You change him, and I'll change the tire.'

'I changed my mind...I'm not thirsty anymore.'

"Me? I thought you were raising them."

'These are very powerful tranquilizers for when your teen has he horrific tantrums. Take two of them anytime she flares up.'

'To be honest I only became a vicar to get my children into the C of E school.'

"Wasn't it your turn to drop him to online school?!"

'I know Jesus spoke in parables. Now for the last time, tell me exactly where you put my car keys.'

'Sorry dad - it won't happen again,'

Oops.

A Toxic-Waste-Think-Tank With Toxic-Thoughts.

Daughter/psychiatrist

"Don't worry, it gets easier when they're 35."

"I'm sorry madam but we don't make them go missing."

'That's enough Rusty.'

young mother with a baby being bombarded by advice on parenting from older mothers

'The only thing we have in common anymore is the kids are driving us both nuts!'

'Sleeping like a baby'

"I couldn't find a sitter."

Parenting Wonks

"We shouldn't have had so many kids. Now they all want computers and phones."

"If you had only listened to me when you were six and not eaten that dirt."

"But I am an engaged parent. Just the other day, I helped one of the kids with his or her homework."

"Family vacation is an oxymoron."

A couple leaves their child at a "Child Check" counter before entering a fancy restaurant.