Modern Love Warriors Gifts

"I sent a long, passionate, romantic text to my girlfriend, and all she replied was, 'K'. I guess I was expecting a better response."

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"

Competitiveness in Ancient Times

"When I first met him, he was my knight in shining armour. But, he hasn't been near the metal polish in years!"

"Of course I love you, I'm just busy with other men."

'Let's face it...We have irreconcilable differences!'

'Do you Margaret take Charles to be your etc, etc, etc...just hit the 'I agree' button.'

Generation Ex.

Friday night was always sext night.

'I envisioned something more robust'

"By the time we can marry in all fifty states, we'll probably be divorced."

'I have rather a full schedule today. Could you summarize your grievances of the past 48 years?'

Modern Charm

'Every weekend he's off hunting with his buddies! I never see him!!!'

"We even tried cyber sex, but the line was always busy."

"To be honest I'd rather make love not war, but my chat-up lines are terrible."

"Zoom says we have connectivity issues..."

"Not on my watch..."

'I've been married to your sister for 9 years, so why should I be scared of you?'

'Everytime I kiss him he says he can't breathe.'

'Progress. Your prenup process is down to two boxes of tissue a day.'

"Don't you dare apologize to me!"

"Is there room for me?"

'I usually don't do online dating.'

"The only thing we seem to agree on lately is that we always disagree."

"Even after all these years, you can still make me laughso hard I pee my pants...of course, I dod that when I sneeze, too!"

Dorothy and the singles bar

"I now declare a thumb war."

Two hearts arguing.

"Get me this! Get me that! Get me..."

Facing Covid with love

"I'm gay! I'm gay!"

"Your training begins just as it did with the masters of old... with positive affirmations and five minutes of low-impact cardio."

"My husband's ill, so I'm standing in for him."

"He must be really serious to send you something a permanent as an email."