Modern Lifestyle Explorer Pillows

'Why aren't I in school? I have an app that does that for me.'

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

'Road trips are getting lonelier & lonelier.'

Drive-thru Flu Clinic.

"Who's been nibbling at my kale house?"

'It's an electronic pipe and heated slippers...he's a thoroughly modern old fart.'

'He glued himself to the floor again.'

'Excuse me - can you be quiet? I'm trying to make a phone call!'

"I am exercising. I'm doing some online walking around an online mall."

"It's wonderful how there are so many more devices to fall asleep in front of these days."

"The Rutherford's aren't joining us this winter. They're staying home and blowing their minds on medical marijuana."

'Do you remember when our time away from the office was our time...'

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

'I can't wait 'til hunting is googling and gathering is calling out for delivery.'

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"Did you get my tweet?"

The Modern Novel.

'Thanks for the book, dad. Now I can reach my computer!'

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

'Fetching newspapers is over. Now I aggregate blogs for him.'

i-teddy

Fur Baby

"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."

A baseball player is too busy checking his smartphone to catch a ball.

'Apparently it downloads data to your brain.'

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"

"Teenagers! Everyone try to look cool!"

"The way you look at me, Craig... you really see me."

"Their wedding registry has 8 place settings of double wall, stainless steel water bottles."

"Hi, I'd like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn."

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

"Why would I want to see anything that far away from my phone?"

"....Reception on my tablet is so much better since I added wifi to my mule..."

"I wasn't copying off others. I was just crowdsourcing the answers."