Modern Lifestyle Appreciator Pillows

'Speak louder. I can't hear you.'

'He has his own driver, two private secretaries and noe even three personal drones.'

'Do you remember when our time away from the office was our time...'

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

'I can't wait 'til hunting is googling and gathering is calling out for delivery.'

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

The Modern Novel.

'Hurray for indoor plumbing!'

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

'Thanks for the book, dad. Now I can reach my computer!'

Fur Baby

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."

"You are still here."

Glyndebourne

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"

'Apparently it downloads data to your brain.'

"Their wedding registry has 8 place settings of double wall, stainless steel water bottles."

"Teenagers! Everyone try to look cool!"

"The way you look at me, Craig... you really see me."

"Hi, I'd like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn."

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

"Why would I want to see anything that far away from my phone?"

"I wasn't copying off others. I was just crowdsourcing the answers."

"....Reception on my tablet is so much better since I added wifi to my mule..."

'Mom, can you tell me about the days before Pilates and Latte's?'

"Who's been nibbling at my kale house?"

'I've been watching TV all my life. I was born cable ready.'

"As soon as I reconfigure the router, I'll reset my WIFI connection, download and unzip my files, and then I can start the presentation on how to simplify your life!"

The Eternal Question

"Photo safaris are not what they used to be: They seem more interested in taking selfies than photos of us these days..."

"Social media makes it impossible to see, hear or speak no evil."

"... with a side of brown rice, right. And can the delivery guy stop at the pharmacy and pick up my prescription?"

All You Can Tweet Restaurant.