Modern Lifestyle Enthusiast Pillows

'She looks so liberated.'

Texting the psychiatrist

'Mom, can you tell me about the days before Pilates and Latte's?'

'Yes, you still have to answer questions in class even if you went over your phone plan's allotted minutes.'

'I've been watching TV all my life. I was born cable ready.'

'What's the opposite of evolution?'

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

'Hurray for indoor plumbing!'

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

'Thanks for the book, dad. Now I can reach my computer!'

'Fetching newspapers is over. Now I aggregate blogs for him.'

"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

Fur Baby

"Their wedding registry has 8 place settings of double wall, stainless steel water bottles."

"Teenagers! Everyone try to look cool!"

"The way you look at me, Craig... you really see me."

'Apparently it downloads data to your brain.'

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"

"Hi, I'd like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn."

"Why would I want to see anything that far away from my phone?"

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

"I wasn't copying off others. I was just crowdsourcing the answers."

"....Reception on my tablet is so much better since I added wifi to my mule..."

"Who's been nibbling at my kale house?"

"As soon as I reconfigure the router, I'll reset my WIFI connection, download and unzip my files, and then I can start the presentation on how to simplify your life!"

The Eternal Question

"Social media makes it impossible to see, hear or speak no evil."

"The coffee is free, but now we rent the tables."

"Good grief, Bradbury! How long have you been working at home?"

"How does one experience the ultimate selfie? Swallow your cell phone."

"OK, I'll play outside, but what do I do when I get out of Wi-Fi range?"

"He's feeling neglected. Should we text him?"