Modern Lifestyle Navigator Pillows

'Not tonight, honey. I'm in a video conference.'

'This is kind of a bad time - could we have an affair AFTER tax day'

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

"I shop, therefore I am."

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"Did you get my tweet?"

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

No Immediate Danger

"Your mother and I are feeling overwhelmed, so you'll have to bring yourselves up."

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

'Thanks for the book, dad. Now I can reach my computer!'

"It says here that if you read stuff on an electronic device you can miss the big picture."

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

i-teddy

Bashful in Nashville

'Fetching newspapers is over. Now I aggregate blogs for him.'

"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."

Fur Baby

A baseball player is too busy checking his smartphone to catch a ball.

"Teenagers! Everyone try to look cool!"

'Apparently it downloads data to your brain.'

"Their wedding registry has 8 place settings of double wall, stainless steel water bottles."

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

"Why would I want to see anything that far away from my phone?"

"....Reception on my tablet is so much better since I added wifi to my mule..."

'Mom, can you tell me about the days before Pilates and Latte's?'

'I've been watching TV all my life. I was born cable ready.'

"Who's been nibbling at my kale house?"

'This app tells me how near my friends are...'

The Eternal Question

'Oh, relax. Stopping to ask how to use the GPS does not violate the male decree against asking directions.'

"As soon as I reconfigure the router, I'll reset my WIFI connection, download and unzip my files, and then I can start the presentation on how to simplify your life!"

"Photo safaris are not what they used to be: They seem more interested in taking selfies than photos of us these days..."