Modern Life Trends Gifts

"I'm crazed with this noble path- let me get back to you."

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

"The Chicken: Just another body type that shouldn't be permitted to wear yoga pants."

Crap from the future.

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

"Absolutely not!"

"I feel like pushing the envelope this morning, honey, starting with a little grape jelly for that bran muffin."

A Macaroni in 1772

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

"By the end of next week, these fads such as social media, automobiles and making fire will all be over."

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"Here's something called "The Fifty Greatest Countdown Shows Ever!""

Weird things I do because of the internet

Keeping warm.

"Did you get my tweet?"

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

"And now. . . which shoes?"

"I shop, therefore I am."

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

'Hurray for indoor plumbing!'

On Aug. 3, 1992, the Moon rose over the horizon wearing heavy eye-liner and mohawk. Fortunately it was just a phase.