
"Says here tiny houses are the hot new trend. Didn't I always tell you we're ahead of our time, Doris?"
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"Says here tiny houses are the hot new trend. Didn't I always tell you we're ahead of our time, Doris?"
Upper East Side Dog Park
Armstrong, what's "beardilizer," and why's our menu say we can add it to any coffee drink? Studies show the male hipster spends 14% more on coffee than the average patron. Studies also show that 78% of male hipsters are trying to grow huge lumberjack beards. Studies also show that a pallet of fertilizer somehow flew off of a freight train as it passed by my house last week. Very bad man. Remind me to thank whoever added that speed-bump to the train tracks by my house.
'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'
'Do you remember when our time away from the office was our time...'
Sometimes he just stood back and admired the breathtaking scenery of his life.
"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."
'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'
Low-Energy Drinks
'I love my new easylife artist's easel.'
You want me to be a what? A hipster. My research shows caf
#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors
'I can't wait 'til hunting is googling and gathering is calling out for delivery.'
Cat in a flap
"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"
"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"
Rap music
"I shop, therefore I am."
Meanwhile in Hollywood
"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"
The Modern Novel.
'Thanks for the book, dad. Now I can reach my computer!'
"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."
"Your blood sugar levels are off the chart! Just how many Hallmark Christmas movies did you watch?"
Fur Baby
i-teddy
Trust
Peak Beard/High Peak Beard
'Apparently it downloads data to your brain.'
''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'
'Home is where I hang my bat.'
"Teenagers! Everyone try to look cool!"
'No, you won't live longer if you give up sex and alcohol. But it'll seem like it.'
"Their wedding registry has 8 place settings of double wall, stainless steel water bottles."
"I tried the C25k but prefer the 5k2C"
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