Contemporary Lifestyle Gifts

"I shop, therefore I am."

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

'Do you remember when our time away from the office was our time...'

Sometimes he just stood back and admired the breathtaking scenery of his life.

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

Low-Energy Drinks

'I love my new easylife artist's easel.'

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

'I can't wait 'til hunting is googling and gathering is calling out for delivery.'

Cat in a flap

Meanwhile in Hollywood

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

The Modern Novel.

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

'Thanks for the book, dad. Now I can reach my computer!'

Fur Baby

"You are still here."

'Fetching newspapers is over. Now I aggregate blogs for him.'

"Your blood sugar levels are off the chart! Just how many Hallmark Christmas movies did you watch?"

i-teddy

"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."

Trust

'Home is where I hang my bat.'

'Apparently it downloads data to your brain.'

"I tried the C25k but prefer the 5k2C"

Upper East Side Dog Park

"Their wedding registry has 8 place settings of double wall, stainless steel water bottles."

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

"Teenagers! Everyone try to look cool!"

'No, you won't live longer if you give up sex and alcohol. But it'll seem like it.'

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

"Why would I want to see anything that far away from my phone?"

"I live for the moment. That moment just happens to be in the indefinite future."