Trendy Eating Gifts

"Wheatgrass is highly effective at neutralizing joy."

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

"Even the waiters here are organic."

"I'll have the drum an sea bass, the house salad and the techno nachos!"

Rap music

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

Spontaneous Kombucha

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

Peak Beard/High Peak Beard

Upper East Side Dog Park

I'd like a mocha almond vanilla latte...hold the coffee.

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

"Who's been nibbling at my kale house?"

A woman looks at greeting cards in a section entitled "New Pie".

Can I get you another coffee?

"What's trending?"

Popeye Switches to Kale.

Back To School Supplies.

"I was the first one to work completely gluten free."

"I'm not sure our family's ready for kombucha, hon."

"I broke it off with him when I realized his love of quinoa was but a sham."

Avacados

Pop up hell

"Bring me something impaled on a tusk."

"What's the right age to tell a child that she's ironic?"

"Vinyl records? Actually, wax cylinders are where it's at now."

"Knees peeking out of jeans are sexy, but what would you know?"

"People don't care what they're eating as long as they're the first ones to eat it."

'These kids today look absolutely ridiculous.'

"It's over between kale and me -- I've moved onto sorrel."

Mother Nature's Health Foods

"There's kale in every dish here - buy you don't even taste it."