Trendy Eaters Gifts

"What's trending?"

"Even the waiters here are organic."

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

Queen of Quinoa

"Is the MSG local?"

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

Spontaneous Kombucha

Upper East Side Dog Park

"That's very offensive."

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

I'd like a mocha almond vanilla latte...hold the coffee.

"Who's been nibbling at my kale house?"

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

"Wheatgrass is highly effective at neutralizing joy."

"I think you'd be surprised by how simple this avocado toast recipe is."

"I'll have the crescent-crab 'purses' and the smoked duck 'hash' – hold the quotation marks."

"Bingo, it's the hippy lady again! She always throws something interesting: last week it was honey-beer bread..."

Popeye Switches to Kale.

"I was the first one to work completely gluten free."

"Where can I find your organic, locally raised children?"

Avacados

'To authenticate this recipe, first purchase a Soil Association accredited small holding in an unspoilt and exclusive locale, steadily add copious illustrated puff pieces to the nation press and plug. . .'

"I broke it off with him when I realized his love of quinoa was but a sham."

"What's upscale today, Joey?"

"Avocado...t-toast..."

Pop up hell

"I wonder if you folks are aware that black cod is this year's Chilean sea bass?"

"People don't care what they're eating as long as they're the first ones to eat it."

"Everything on the menu can be prepared with no gluten, standard gluten or extra gluten."

Big Turmeric

Mother Nature's Health Foods

"It's over between kale and me -- I've moved onto sorrel."

"It's fast-casual."