Trendsetting Food Lover Gifts

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

"Is the MSG local?"

Queen of Quinoa

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

A dozen predictions for foods of the future.

"That's very offensive."

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

"Chef, we've run out of terracotta roof tiles!"

Give me a child at seven and I will show you the MAN!

"Wheatgrass is highly effective at neutralizing joy."

Spanx Tells Me No

"What's trending?"

"There's our cure for the munchies! Gluten, we love your pizza!!" "You're our hero, gluten."

'Ahh, but it's a Dyson saltshaker.'

"Bingo, it's the hippy lady again! She always throws something interesting: last week it was honey-beer bread..."

"I think you'd be surprised by how simple this avocado toast recipe is."

Popeye Switches to Kale.

"I was the first one to work completely gluten free."

Bob's BBQ Aprons: The Spring Collection

"Why don't we just take photos of other people's food and order whatever gets the most Facebook likes?"

'To authenticate this recipe, first purchase a Soil Association accredited small holding in an unspoilt and exclusive locale, steadily add copious illustrated puff pieces to the nation press and plug. . .'

Avacados

"It's nothing new. We've always offered a complimentary beard wash following an order of ribs."

"What's upscale today, Joey?"

"Avocado...t-toast..."

"I broke it off with him when I realized his love of quinoa was but a sham."

"I wonder if you folks are aware that black cod is this year's Chilean sea bass?"

Instant Slimmer Soup.

French-America Cuisine: Corn Flake Flambe!

"Everything on the menu can be prepared with no gluten, standard gluten or extra gluten."

Weird shaped bread and a French baguette.

Mother Nature's Health Foods

"Hmmmm...What am I in the mood for?"