Trendsetter Foodie Gifts

"I wonder if you folks are aware that black cod is this year's Chilean sea bass?"

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

"Where do we put Desserts?"

"Is the MSG local?"

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

Spontaneous Kombucha

"I didn't invent the wheel. I invented the pizza."

A dozen predictions for foods of the future.

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

"You'll find that as a restaurateur I've worked hard to showcase the finest in organic and free range ingredients that have been harvested and prepared in authentic and traditional ways."

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

Haute Chinese

"It's natural, vegan organic, no additives, preservatives or cooking."

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

"Enlightenment can only come when you realize there is more to life than gluten free hot sauce."

"Chef, we've run out of terracotta roof tiles!"

Salad Hat

"And the best part of grinding their bones to make your bread - totally gluten free!"

"We've gone 'Glutton-Free'."

"Fall is coming, Snickers. We must pumpkin spice everything."

Popeye Switches to Kale.

There's a sky full of bloated women counting on you to produce a pro-biotic yoghurt like you've never produced before!

"I was the first one to work completely gluten free."

'Can you believe this? Now some food faddists want 'nectar-free' honey.'

Avacados

"So, it's Gluten free, lactose free and meat free. How does it taste?"

"One skinny latte, and is that with almond milk, coconut milk, soya milk..."

"I broke it off with him when I realized his love of quinoa was but a sham."

Hoax Ethnic Food

Bob's BBQ Aprons: The Spring Collection

"Why don't we just take photos of other people's food and order whatever gets the most Facebook likes?"

"This is sort of my little homage to the American farm woman."

'Waiter - This salad isn't appropriately dressed!'

"With religion and politics off the table, the only thing left to argue about is gluten."