Trendsetter Foodie Pillows

"I wonder if you folks are aware that black cod is this year's Chilean sea bass?"

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

"Where do we put Desserts?"

"Is the MSG local?"

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

Spontaneous Kombucha

"I didn't invent the wheel. I invented the pizza."

Haute Chinese

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

A dozen predictions for foods of the future.

"You'll find that as a restaurateur I've worked hard to showcase the finest in organic and free range ingredients that have been harvested and prepared in authentic and traditional ways."

"It's natural, vegan organic, no additives, preservatives or cooking."

"Enlightenment can only come when you realize there is more to life than gluten free hot sauce."

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

"Chef, we've run out of terracotta roof tiles!"

"Fall is coming, Snickers. We must pumpkin spice everything."

Salad Hat

"And the best part of grinding their bones to make your bread - totally gluten free!"

"We've gone 'Glutton-Free'."

'Ahh, but it's a Dyson saltshaker.'

Popeye Switches to Kale.

There's a sky full of bloated women counting on you to produce a pro-biotic yoghurt like you've never produced before!

"I was the first one to work completely gluten free."

Avacados

'Can you believe this? Now some food faddists want 'nectar-free' honey.'

"Why don't we just take photos of other people's food and order whatever gets the most Facebook likes?"

"One skinny latte, and is that with almond milk, coconut milk, soya milk..."

"So, it's Gluten free, lactose free and meat free. How does it taste?"

Hoax Ethnic Food

Bob's BBQ Aprons: The Spring Collection

"I broke it off with him when I realized his love of quinoa was but a sham."

'Waiter - This salad isn't appropriately dressed!'

"Your mother eats all the wrong foods."