Food Trendsetter Pillows

Jane tried to increase her social media status by proposing the toast of the day.

Avacados

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

"Where do we put Desserts?"

Queen of Quinoa

"Is the MSG local?"

Spontaneous Kombucha

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

"I didn't invent the wheel. I invented the pizza."

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

Haute Chinese

"You'll find that as a restaurateur I've worked hard to showcase the finest in organic and free range ingredients that have been harvested and prepared in authentic and traditional ways."

A dozen predictions for foods of the future.

I'd like a mocha almond vanilla latte...hold the coffee.

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

"Who's been nibbling at my kale house?"

"It's natural, vegan organic, no additives, preservatives or cooking."

"Chef, we've run out of terracotta roof tiles!"

"Enlightenment can only come when you realize there is more to life than gluten free hot sauce."

"We've gone 'Glutton-Free'."

"Fall is coming, Snickers. We must pumpkin spice everything."

"Bingo, it's the hippy lady again! She always throws something interesting: last week it was honey-beer bread..."

"And the best part of grinding their bones to make your bread - totally gluten free!"

"There's our cure for the munchies! Gluten, we love your pizza!!" "You're our hero, gluten."

"I think you'd be surprised by how simple this avocado toast recipe is."

"What's trending?"

'Ahh, but it's a Dyson saltshaker.'

Popeye Switches to Kale.

There's a sky full of bloated women counting on you to produce a pro-biotic yoghurt like you've never produced before!

'To authenticate this recipe, first purchase a Soil Association accredited small holding in an unspoilt and exclusive locale, steadily add copious illustrated puff pieces to the nation press and plug. . .'

"So, it's Gluten free, lactose free and meat free. How does it taste?"

"What's upscale today, Joey?"

"Why don't we just take photos of other people's food and order whatever gets the most Facebook likes?"

'Can you believe this? Now some food faddists want 'nectar-free' honey.'