Food Trendsetter Pillows

Jane tried to increase her social media status by proposing the toast of the day.

Avacados

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

"Where do we put Desserts?"

Queen of Quinoa

"Is the MSG local?"

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

Spontaneous Kombucha

"I didn't invent the wheel. I invented the pizza."

"You'll find that as a restaurateur I've worked hard to showcase the finest in organic and free range ingredients that have been harvested and prepared in authentic and traditional ways."

Haute Chinese

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

A dozen predictions for foods of the future.

I'd like a mocha almond vanilla latte...hold the coffee.

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

"Who's been nibbling at my kale house?"

"It's natural, vegan organic, no additives, preservatives or cooking."

"Chef, we've run out of terracotta roof tiles!"

"Enlightenment can only come when you realize there is more to life than gluten free hot sauce."

"Bingo, it's the hippy lady again! She always throws something interesting: last week it was honey-beer bread..."

"What's trending?"

"We've gone 'Glutton-Free'."

"There's our cure for the munchies! Gluten, we love your pizza!!" "You're our hero, gluten."

"I think you'd be surprised by how simple this avocado toast recipe is."

"Fall is coming, Snickers. We must pumpkin spice everything."

"And the best part of grinding their bones to make your bread - totally gluten free!"

Popeye Switches to Kale.

There's a sky full of bloated women counting on you to produce a pro-biotic yoghurt like you've never produced before!

Hoax Ethnic Food

"Why don't we just take photos of other people's food and order whatever gets the most Facebook likes?"

'Can you believe this? Now some food faddists want 'nectar-free' honey.'

"So, it's Gluten free, lactose free and meat free. How does it taste?"

"Avocado...t-toast..."

"What's upscale today, Joey?"